I will be writing a group of seven posts, which will be part of a "7 Deadly Sins" series. Today is the first installment: Sloth.
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I had a very productive day. I cooked four recipes for the week, and penned a bit of a song. I washed all my dishes and cleaned the stove. I took out the trash. I have been perfectly responsible.
It wasn't always this way. For many years, getting me to wash the dishes was like pulling teeth. And cooking? Forget about it. I would sit in front of my computer for hours on end, rather aimlessly. I'd only write a song about once a month. I always felt strained when my mother would ask me to help around the house.
As I was doing my tasks today, I realized that I have recovered so much from my mental illness. Who was I two years ago? Who was I, for all those years before then? Why did I have such a limited capacity for, dare I say, responsibility? For years, I believed I was lazy and stupid. I beat myself up for not doing "enough." But now, after the medicine Clozapine and immense utilization of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, I can putter around the house without batting an eye. I actually find joy in washing dishes and cleaning and cooking. It is a relaxing activity that counters professional work during the week.
Having been on both sides, I now believe that no one is lazy. "Laziness" is a condition that occurs when someone is too mentally tired to accomplish a task. No one should be judged for being mentally tired. Instead, encouragement and support should be offered. Or at the very least, empathy and compassion.
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