A Personal Turn...

Thus far, I have written about topics in general, without revealing anything too substantial.  True, I have divulged some experiences from my past.  But I consider these events to be mostly resolved.  I have not yet spoken about an issue that perturbs me currently.  Doing such is personal.  It makes my reputation vulnerable.  What will people think?  Should I say anything at all, or remain mum?  We live in a society where we are free to not disclose.  But where is the freedom in that?  Let's say that I am a lesbian, and I am free to stay in the closet.  That is no freedom.  That's like being free to stay in jail.

Right now, I am reclining on a comfortable leather couch, and you are sitting in a swivel chair behind a desk.  You have your fingertips on either hand touched together, and you ask me, "Tell me about your mother."  And then you're all ears.

What do I say?  Do you really have concern about my mother?  The relationship I have with her?

I am hocking Freud with my piecemeal knowledge of the subject.  I will go another route.

You, all ears.  But are you?  Do you hear me with your full, undivided attention?  Or are you thinking about other things?  Your personal life.  Like feeding your cat.  Or walking your dog that you've cleverly named "Dementia."  Cute thing.  Or maybe you are thinking about how your daughter has dyed her hair platinum, and now all the boys like her.  Maybe... my talking about my friends (me, the patient), makes you lonely (the therapist).  Think about it.  It is entirely possible that a patient has a more fulfilling social life than his/her therapist.  Being a therapist does not mean you are the Master of life, worthy of having devoutly religious patients bowing at your feet in utter gratitude for your advice, nuggets of gold they are.  Are you so valuable?

Let us be the master of our own lives.  Let therapy be a simple... sharing of notes.  Collaborative.  Peer to peer.  And if a therapist is not a peer... then simple empathy will do.  It is not a miracle.  It is simply every day living.  We need human connection to live life fully.